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Monday, Nov. 03, 2003
Today's Forecast: 50% More Balloons

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Shirley: Video games are fun 1:20pm 3 Nov

Speck: I get paid to write this! 11:53am MST, 3 Nov

Spishak: Enjoy donuts 4:54pm MST, 31 Oct

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LATEST AP NEWS

Marijuana Use Linked to Saddamism

Rumsfeld Scolds Unpatriotic, Question-Asking Journalists

Californians Return to Fatherland After Wildfires

CALENDAR

Upcoming Events
11.3.2003 - Balloon Fiesta Remember-Fiesta
11.5.2003 - Santa Fe Gentrification Festival 2003
11.5.2003 - Real American Storytelling
11.6.2003 - Ditzy Librul Thing At UNM

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HEALTH

• 10 Children Dead From Minnow-Related Dehydration

• Gov. Turns Head To Left, Then To Right

• N.M. Health Officials Confirm First Sniffle of Cold Season

URINAL NORTH

• New Jail Built in Popular "Santa Fe Style"

• Drunk Driver Arrested

• Dia De Los Muertos Festivities Lack Balloons

WEST SIDE URINAL

• Majestic View of Sandias Ignored

• Tract Home Built

• Rio Rancho is Popular With Witness Relocation Program

SCITECH

• Nearby Nuclear/Toxic Waste Dump Not A Concern

• Environmentalists Blamed For Drought

• Sun Storm Has Mussing Effect On Knipfing's Hair

PREPS SPORTS

• Eagles Over 'Dawgs Because Of Black Players

• Pius Wins Big Despite Lack Of Black Players

• Pius Courts Looking Ahead To State Game, Black Players

OBITUARIES

• Fred Johnson, 54, Loved Sadie's Papitas A Little Too Much

• Maureen Fowell Helped Others Help Others

• Marine William Baca Known For Outstandingness

APD Cops Shoot, Kill Man Who Deserved It
By Josh Jenkins / Urinal
Police shot and killed a man said to have been carrying a gun-shaped comb in a northeast Albuquerque apartment complex.

updated at 9:06 a.m.
Democrats Influenced by Satan, Expert Says
The Associated Press
Scientist scientifically proves that up to 98% of Democrats are directly influenced by Lord of Darkness.

Martin Chavez In Other 2%, Says Mayor more

Infernal Varmints Blasted to Tarnation
By Don Drake / Urinal
Two Mexican gray wolves were dispatched to Hell without ceremony last Tuesday by a heroic cattle rancher who is doing whatever he can to preserve the cattle ranching way of life which is being destroyed by cruel environmentalists who care more about their demonic beasts of prey than a little child.

Trespassers Shot On Sight more

Chile Dogs

Bill Bartlesby / Urinal

An Old Town vendor supplies passersby with a little taste of Duke City humor by combining chiles with the Dalmation.

T-Shirt Offers Pun, Message Of Hope
By Kathy Krum / Urinal
EDITOR'S NOTE: In the third installment of our series on New Mexico's place in the global economy, we explore the T-shirt - a vital component of New Mexico's relationship with Korea, China, and The Philippines.

T-Shirt Purchased By Grandma Strongly Appreciated By Grateful Grandson more

Chile Cats T-Shirt Not As Popular more

Photos from this week's ABQurinal.com

New Mexico & the West
Most Of West On Fire more

Environmentalists Blamed more

Heroic Firefighters Have Choice Words For Dirty Tree-Huggers more

Judge Won't Wear Invisibility Suit more

Business Outlook
Anti-Growth Liberals To Be Destroyed more

Hispanic Workers' Injury Rate High, According to Pro-Saddam Report more

J.R. Hale Construction Wins City Contract more

Santa Fe Office Complex Is Painted Brown commercial real estate

A Little More Hush Money Is in Order business across the border

Bribery Plan Generally Effective your taxes

AGE Magazine
Five Women Not Wearing Big Hats in Santa Fe more

On a Mission: 5 Women Out To Wear Small Hats, Necklaces more

Storyteller's CD a Message of Treacly Sentimentality more

Ungrateful Children Our Worst Enemy more

Freedom To Create Dinner more

Venue: Arts & Entertainment
Society Hails Infallible Pope more

Local Band Has That Local Band Sound more

Balloon Lovers Gather For Balloon Loving more

Metropolitan
People Who Voted Against Bond Should Try Living In Iraq For A While more

New Council Just As Ruined By Troublemaker Eric Griego As Old Council more

Pro-Business Message Too Much for Lilly-Livered Libruls more

Teenager Attacks On Rise more

Colorful Hispanics Celebrate Cute Holiday more

What To Do With Mexicans Still a Problem more

Sports
Long: Tostitos and Taco Bell Back New "Latino Stereotype Bowl" more

Area Fans Prepare To Attend High School Football Games In A Futile Attempt To Recapture Their Youth more

Annual Republican Ski Swap Raises Funds for Santa Fe Republican Ski Team more

Get Off The Couch, Fatty more

Health
Doctors Learn From SARS, Public Has Already Forgotten It Existed more

Does Your Dog Bite? Put It Down ask the vet

Business
Pimps Up; Hos Down spare change

Banks Put In Charge Of Government more

Legislature: Special Session
Senate Gets Tough On Sex Offenders more

Catholic Priests Exempted In Bill more

What's a Weblog?
A "weblog" is a "Web page" of short, inconsequential "posts" arranged "chronologically," with content ranging all the way from news clear the hell over to to entertainment! ABQurinal.com weblogs feature feelgood tidbits not seen in the print edition. Now that's value-added!

Shirley: Fo' Shizzle, My Ballooning Homey
01:20pm MST, 3 Nov 2003

Speck: Excessive Balloons? Never!
11:53am MST, 3 Nov 2003

Speck: Big Balloons
11:14am MST, 3 Nov 2003

Speck: Even More Balloon Action
10:42am MST, 3 Nov 2003

Speck: More Balloon Action
08:52am MST, 3 Nov 2003

Spishak: Eat Lead Hippie! (Unless you are a balloonist)
04:54pm MST, 31 Oct 2003

Speck: CLIMAS: Drought Continues Bad Ballooning Weather
03:45pm MST, 31 Oct 2003

Speck: Korea: Better Ballooning
01:20pm MST, 31 Oct 2003

Speck: The Space Station's Purpose: Photograph Our Balloons
01:10pm MST, 31 Oct 2003

Clotts: Balloons on TV
11:32am MST, 31 Oct 2003

Index of Urinal Weblogs

For the latest news, sports and business, sign up for Albuquerque Urinal home delivery and receive access to ABQurinal.com online. Subscribe Now!

Click on these letters:

Contact Urinal newsroom staff at Drawer U, Albuquerque NM 87103, or by

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