You're a fool to buy that new car, and I won't go the movies with you (unless you're paying)

One of my most cherished and long-standing chestnuts is this one: How in the hell are all these people who buy new cars affording them?  You see new cars everywhere (especially, in my neck of the woods, those awesome new Mustangs).  Cristy and I make a reasonable amount of money: we can't afford a new car.  But you can?  What's your secret?  Are you an oil tycoon?  Are you one of the ten richest kings of Europe?  Will you give me $20,000 if I ask nicely?

There is no secret, though, is there?  You're not an oil tycoon.  You're not a millionaire.  You're probably not even a thousandaire.  No, you're in debt up to your eyeballs.  You were able to afford a new car because you borrowed the money.  You borrowed money, which you will pay interest on, to buy something that loses a huge chunk of its value the second you sign the papers.  Good job!

Don't get me wrong: I envy your new car.  I truly do.  I bet it smells nice inside.  But I do not envy your debt.  But hey, that's between you and your god, isn't it, you sexy thing in your new car which I cannot afford.  I couldn't afford your car if I bought it used.

But the reason I bring all this up is because I have a new gripe: Movie ticket prices.  Which have gone up to $10 a pop at my local theater.

You're probably going to drive your new car to the movies this weekend, right?  Yes, you are!  And you're going to shell out $10 for your ticket to see "The Incredible Hulk." 

Ten dollars.  For one movie.  That doesn't even include snacks. 

You've got $10 in your pocket in any case, probably more, so you don't have to take out a loan to go to the movies.  That's lucky.  Even I could afford that.  But you know what?  I don't want to pay $10 for a movie.  Five dollars: OK.  Eight dollars: It's starting to sting.  Nine dollars: This movie better be the best movie ever made.  Ten dollars: Are you fucking kidding me? 

$10 buys an album on iTunes.  $10 buys a meal at a Mexican restaraunt. $10 will rent three DVDs at your local chain video rental ripoff store.  $10 will buy a lot of things, but is the privilege of seeing Hulk smash things on a large screen really worth $10?  No. It is not.