Are there monkeys where you’re from?

    What’s that you’re reading?  A nature book?  Looks like it’s got a lot of pictures of animals in it.  You like animals?  I like animals.  Horses, dogs.  I used to have a dog, but he died.  He was poisoned.  Can you believe that?  Who would poison a dog?  He wasn’t even a mean dog.

    I haven’t seen you around for a while.  I come by the library almost every day.  Well, not every day, but most days.  Where you been?  OK if I look at your book with you?  I won’t bother you, I just want to talk a little.

    Look at that.  Mountains.  That’s Idaho.  Real pretty country.  Lots of mountains.  I’ve never been there.  I went to Oregon one time.  I don’t really like traveling.  You like traveling?  Well, it’s OK I guess.  I’d rather stay in one place.  I’ve traveled, but I always liked coming home.  I like it here in the desert.  Rains too much everywhere else.  I’d rather get settled down.  Would you like to settle down?  Ever think about getting married?  Oh yeah?  Who to?  The actor?  I think you’re out of your league there.  OK, let me see the picture.  Well, that’s him.  Christopher Lambert.  He’s from Spain.  I don’t think you want to go getting mixed up with foreigners like that, especially an actor.  They’re selfish people.  Greedy.  They only care about themselves.  I think you should just put him out of your mind.  I don’t think it helps that you carry around a picture of him in your bag, either.  OK, OK.  He’s an all right actor, I guess.  Why do you like him so much, anyway?  You like him just because you saw him in one movie?  That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.  You can’t want to marry someone just because you saw them in one movie.  All right, all right, take it easy.  I saw that one movie he was in.  What was it called?  I can’t remember.  It was a long time ago.  I don’t really follow actors and all that.

    Dolphins.  Swimming in the ocean.  Have you ever seen a dolphin?  I haven’t, except in pictures.  Real pretty animal.  Elegant.  What kind of monkeys are those?  Well what does it say there?  I can’t read it upside-down like that.  Can I come sit over on the other side of the table with you?  OK, OK.  I’ll stay here.  Looks like some kind of howler monkey to me.  Looks like that actor, Christopher Lambert.  Hey, I’m just kidding.  I know you like the guy.

    Are there monkeys where you’re from?

    Well, I guess I better be going.  I’m going to go smoke a cigarette and then meet some people.  What are you doing today?  Oh, no.  You shouldn’t do that.  No that’s a bad idea.  I don’t think you should be sleeping in the park.  That park is dangerous.  There’s some real dangerous people down there.  I was sleeping down there one time and someone hit me on the head with a beer bottle and stole my Gameboy.  You know what a Gameboy is?  The video game thing?  You don’t like video games?  I don’t really like them either, but I liked my Gameboy until someone stole it.  Can you believe that?  They hit me on the head with a beer bottle.  Look, right there.  There’s the scar.  See that?  That’s why you shouldn’t be sleeping down there in the park by yourself.  I know you can take care of yourself, but I’m just trying to help you.  I don’t want to see you get hurt.

    Look at those frogs.  Those frogs are courting.  You know what courting means?  Right now I’m trying to court you.  I’m courting you, Akiko.

    Well, I guess I won’t bother you any more.  Be careful sleeping in the park.  Yeah, I know.  Well where’d you sleep when you lived in Japan?  Were you homeless there, too?  I don’t believe that.  I bet there are homeless people in Japan.  No, you just don’t understand how the system works here.  Where you’re from, people care about the collective, the whole.  Everybody is working for a company or something and everybody cares about that company.  Here, people work together, they agree to work together, but they really only care about themselves and their families.  That’s the capitalist system.  Where you’re from people are working for companies and here people are working for their families.  That’s the difference.  You wouldn’t understand that because you’re from Japan.  Here family is number one.  When I have a family, that’s how I’ll be.  Don’t you want to have a family?  Not all men are jerks.  I’ll admit that some of them are jerks, some of them are bad, but not all.  You think Christopher Lambert is going to be a nice guy?  When are you even ever going to meet him?  No, no.  That’s never going to happen.  Can’t you see that you’re wasting your life on this guy?  It just isn’t going to happen.

     Myself, I’d love nothing better than to have a nice woman that I could build a home for and treat with respect.  That’s just the way I was raised.  I was raised to respect women.  I’m not trying to argue with you, I’m trying to tell you you that not all men are assholes, if you excuse my French, but you’re just not listening.  There are some good ones out there, sometimes closer to you than you think.

    Listen.  I gotta tell you something.  I’ve been thinking about you.  All the time.  I want you, Akiko.  I really do.   I’m not just saying that.  I want you.  I’ve been laying awake at night thinking about you.  I can’t stop thinking about you.

    Well, OK.  I got shit to do anyway.  I’m not trying to bother you.  I’m just trying to tell you that I have real feelings for you.  You remember what I said about the park, OK?  You remember.