Hmmm, I am going to guess.....crafting while high?

I do not have an Iphone.  If I did, I would not nestle it inside a fake Pop-tart.  FYI. And if you think that is a good idea.......I am busy all this millenia and not answering my phone.

Is this at all necessary?  I thought not.

I am not sure who's lifestyle this would enhance?  If you want to never date again ever, this could be very, very helpful.  Otherwise, what does this say?  Oh, right, I forgot! Bacon is for irony addled hipsters who are drinking PBR until they fall and require stupid bacon band-aids.

Please, DON"T pass the malted vinegar. I am afraid of the kethcup dollop!