June 2004
Mayor hates wife more every day
June 29, 2004 - 12:38pm | MelvixMargaret Aragon de Chavez told KRQE yesterday that she "might consider running for mayor of Albuquerque at some point in the future." Holy mother of god.
UPDATE 4:36pm: With video!
Note to self: Stop hiding cocaine in contact lens case
June 29, 2004 - 11:55am | MelvixFirst we find out that all the judges in the whole state of New Mexico are coked-out boozehounds. Now we find out that all the journalists in the whole state of New Mexico are coked-out boozehounds. Is there no one left to trust? I don't know about you, but the next time I'm checking out the evening news on channel 13, I'm going to be asking myself one question: Is he high or drunk or both?
Salacious details from the Journal, which turns on its own reporter like a shark eating its own entrails:
Vogel smelled of alcohol and his speech was slurred, according to Rivera. "I also observed a white powdery substance in the upper nostril nose area of Mr. Vogel," Rivera wrote.While police impounded his Nissan Altima, Vogel told police there was cocaine in the middle console, according to Rivera's statement.
Police found a contact lens case that contained a powdery substance, which tested positive for cocaine, Rivera wrote.
More priceless moments from the First soon-not-to-be-a-Family!
June 27, 2004 - 5:34am | MelvixMargaret Aragon de Chavez used a picket line in Boston to publicly humiliate her husband by not crossing it while he did.
The story at the Tribune is the best read*, but the Journal is running a story in which it is reported that a Boston police officer overheard the Mayor saying that Boston cops are "so weird."
Contrary to what you might expect, I'm taking the Mayor's side on this. I have it from a very reliable source that what he really said was, "Do they really let these Boston cops grow beards?" Chalk it up to another case of waxy cop ears.
* Actually, the story at the Boston Herald is the best read.
Heather Wilson, Democrat
June 25, 2004 - 8:41am | MelvixGarth sent me this great screenshot of the Libertarian cable access show on Channel 27.
Note the text at the top of the screen:
NO DEMOCRATS ALLOWED TO WATCH
THIS MEANS YOU, HEATHER WILSON
The idea here, I guess, is that Heather Wilson is too liberal for the Libertarians. Or something. I wish I had cable so that I could watch Channel 27. Actually, wouldn't it be better if the "community" cable access show was on, you know, regular free TV?
On a completely different and more personal note, I'd like to propose a toast of congratulations to Garth and his incomparable wife Mya. On the 14th of this month, Mya gave birth to their first child, Miles Dante Colasurdo, an exceptional baby, even among exceptional babies. At the tender age of three days it was reported that he had already uttered his first words, "Einsturzende Neubauten." At four days it was reported that he demanded, using a complex series of hand- and leg-gestures, that he share his bassinet with his father's entire collection of back-issues of "The Nation." At five days it was reported that his parents were forced to wear sunglasses in the house to protect their eyes from the starlike radiance eminating from their son. You get the idea. Cheers, Garth and Mya!
Marty + Margaret = 4-Never
June 18, 2004 - 1:55pm | MelvixMartin Chavez and his wife are breakin' up!
Here's a photo of the Chavez family, back in the day.
My list of demands
June 10, 2004 - 3:31pm | MelvixThey tell me I need to update this blog more often. Once every six months isn't often enough, I guess.
Friends, I'd like to be a better blogger. It breaks my heart to think of you clicking on the little Metaquerque link in your bookmarks, only to be greeted by months-old bloggery. The look I imagine on your face - the look of disappointment, of anger even - it just breaks my heart. However, I cannot do it alone. There's got to be a little give and take between us, not just this one-sided thing where I type stuff and you read it. To that end, here are my list of demands:
- If you see me on the street and I look confused or disoriented, you must not throw things at me, shout obscenities at me or kick me. In fact, do not attack me under any circumstances.
- Should you see me entering, exiting or lingering in the doorway of any of our fair city's erotic dancing establishments between the hours of 2 and 4 pm, you must keep it to yourself. If you see me during any other time of the day, you can blab all you want.
- If you don't like the hat I'm wearing, you will remain silent on the subject until I am far out of earshot. Also you will not post commentary about my choice of headgear on your Web site.
- Everyone, including my wife and my parents, must refer to me as "THE WOOD." (Note: All caps mandatory, whether spoken or written.)*
- You will promise to turn down your car stereo when driving by my house.
- If I'm singing "Mony Mony" at the karaoke bar and you've come up to dance around, when I hold out the microphone to you during the call-and-response parts of the song, that is your cue to sing. If you don't want to sing the "Yeahs," stay in your seat and don't get in the way of my Billy Idol routine.
- If you are my wife, you will promise not to have any more cancer.
There you have it. That's not so bad, is it? As soon as I get an affidavit from every reader of this blog, swearing that they will comply, I will promise to update this blog more often.
* Ha ha ha! Just kidding! No one has to call me "THE WOOD." That would be silly.
